Crossed
by MJLS
Summary: SPOILERS FOR 1X11: UNDERCOVER - I care for Alec, I care for you, but this is my life Cal, let me live it please


Cal never really had it wrong. He knew something was up with Alec and it saddened Gillian, something that made him overreact and immediately jump to conclusions. The act of marrying a man that you know has a drug past and knowing that he is clean, only to hear months, even years later that he had fallen back in the habit was enough to sadden Gillian. Cal saw the act of Alec reusing drugs equal to the act of cheating on his wife, which was in society's eyes much worse but not in Cal's. Everything was equal with him and there was a certain line that he had crossed with his partner.

Even though she hadn't yelled at him for misunderstanding the clear signals, or just about even thinking that her husband would have an affair, Cal saw the disappointment in her eyes and it slowly tore open that wound that still lingered in his heart the day he and Gillian had broken up (granted it was years ago and before either of them was married, a high school fling as they liked to call it). He had placed his hand on her arm and looked her straight in the eye, she had returned the gesture for only a second, letting her fingers trail over his other hand that rested on his knee.

He apologized, and let it be known, Cal Lightman doesn't apologize to just anybody. Then again, this was his most trusted friend and he could accept the grudging need to say 'sorry' to her for once. He then confessed that he and Zoe had slept together, something that she only raised her eyebrow at before rolling her eyes and muttering a soft 'I told you so' under her breath, just loud enough for him to hear and making him grin. The fact that she just patted his shoulder and told him that it was good that he got some before she walked out of her own office was almost a scene out of a weird alcohol induced dream.

"You know what I don't get?" Cal frowned, stopping Gillian in her steps just before she walked out of the office.

"Cal," she sighed, "it's almost 2 am, I'd like to go to bed before you put weird mental stuff in my head again."

"No, listen, don't you find it strange to think that even though he's back on rehab and had a fall back on the drugs, he still works late and stuff?"

"Promotion Cal, something that you used to strive for before you decided to just promote yourself to being the boss of your own place."

"Why would he meet the woman that helps him with his drug addiction in the middle of the street? So late at night too."

"Cal, _stop_ it."

"No, you need to open your eyes, this is more than just going back to the drugs Gillian."

"I said stop it Cal," Gillian glared at him, "this is none of your damn business. Again, that line we have? Crossed."

"I don't give a bloody _damn_ about this invisible line Gillian, Alec is hiding something and you're just denying all the signs!"

Cal was now standing up in front of Gillian, his eyes blazing with the fury raging through his veins. He was pissed at Gillian denying everything that was so clear to see if she just opened her eyes. He was pissed at Alec for lying in front of him and Gillian for not even telling him about the drugs in the first place. She was a shrink for god's sake. One of the best around too, he was lucky enough to have her as a partner, and a friend. Sometimes she even forced her 'psychobabble' as Cal called it upon people but refused to listen to him when he told her the clear signs. She pursed her lips together and glared back at him, not understanding why he was so mad. This was her life, her choices. If she decided to believe what Alec told her, then that was her decision. Not his. She understood his reasoning and worry but she was a grown woman and he wasn't treating her like one.

"I don't believe this," Cal took a step back and looked in disbelief at Gillian, "you really don't care do you?"

"I care," Gillian whispered, letting her eyes soften as she looked at his almost heartbroken face, "I care for Alec, I care for you, but this is my life Cal, let me live it please."

"Well I ain't telling you what to do, I'm just telling you what's happening right in front of you, you just won't see it."

"Cal-"

"-Gillian, for once, just listen to me."

"I always do Cal," Gillian smiled as she placed her hand on his shoulder. He looked at her in an almost desperate way.

"Just, I saw him in the car, with that blond…bi- woman, whatever," Cal shrugged, "they looked more than just therapist and patient at that moment Gill, and I would know wouldn't I?"

"Cal, a kiss on the cheek doesn't mean he's cheating on me, how many times haven't you kissed me on the cheek already?"

"Not often, rarely these days and you know it," Cal shot back, looking slightly offended that Gillian would forget that, "yes I used to, but that was even before we made me the official chief of the tribe here."

"Cal," Gillian said after a few seconds of silence between them, "let go of my wrist."

Cal looked down and saw that his fingers were clenched around her wrist; he refused to look back up and see her face so just kept staring at their hands being so close yet not intertwined. Slowly, he let go of it and she let it fall next to her body before she stalked out of the room, leaving him to stand in the middle of his office, staring at his hand and rethinking what just happened.

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**Disclaimer: **don't own


End file.
